Chicken Little Pouch Part 2

"Oh, wings are very popular Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore them. They think the cheekan is a righteous dude."

See, everyone does love wings... Let's not dick around and go straight to the fowl action with the pouch's second round up of wings around town. Behold, Chicken Little Pouch Part Dookie... Splash.

Fork & Juniper.

Coca-Cola Flats. After a kickass modern renovation at the new Hyatt in midtown, wings would be the last thing you would think to see here. But the Gods blessed us and put wings on the menu. Medium minus size wings, fried spot on but the Coca-Cola honey glaze wetness wasn't all that. Edible but not as good as it sounds.

Buffalo Flats. Ok, same wings, different sauce. There's only one hot sauce option, Buffalo. They were tasty but very mild if not timid in the heat level. But these are way better than the gimmicky Coco-Cola ones. These would be great for a wing eating contest, good size and goes down easy. Three more orders were had... Do I look fat in these pajama jeans?

Rusty Nail.

Naked. Perfect medium size. Crispy and juicy. A very respectable wing but the hot sauce was monotone. Work on the different heat levels and this could be a destination for wingz.

Lemon Pepper. Y'all, knew this was coming... Definitely, peppery and salty but lemony was a side note. They give you more drumettes than flats which is kinda shitty, should be half and half.

This dump is like Clermont #2... It sure is priceless. Love it.

Popeyes.

"Taste the mystery" it says... It's no mystery what's inside, there should be spicy ass wangz in there. Let's take a peek... I'm so nervous and excited! I hope I don't pee my diaper, I just put on a new one.

Voilà! ...and I hear the sound of a loser on the Price Is Right. That fucking Bob Barker fucked me again! 6 wings and a biscuit is what's inside... They don't look so spicy to me. I have always been a huge (no pun) fan of their regular spicy cheekan but their wings not so much. They always seemed kinda chintzy to me. The crust was good, crunchy, crispy, flavorful but where the fuck is the ghost peppers? Not even a hint of it. A few red spots that give the illusion that it may contain ghost peppers but I tongued it and nothing. I stick my tongue in a lot of things and I usually get some kind of feedback in return but these wings were weaker than an 80 year old hag... And no, I didn't stick my tongue anywhere near that dried up old thing. But the biscuit was warm and buttery.

Community Smith.

Chicken Wing Confit, black garlic sweet & sour. I am a sucka for wing confit, hell, I'm a sucka for any type of cheekan. The flesh came off the bone with ease, a sure sign of confit done right. The sweet and sour sauce was acceptable, it had a small vinegary finish which I found interesting yet weird at the same time. Keep them drinks coming, things are tasting better.

Fork in the Road.

Honey Garlic Pepper and Bombay Bomb with ghost chili sauce (caution: extremely spicy)... Yeah, I can't believe they would even attempt something like that but I'll be the judge of that. They are small wings but they are juicy and not dried out. The honey garlic pepper sauce is sweet as expected but nothing that special. The Bombay Bomb didn't look that spicy. First bite, the heat was a mild to medium at best and it peaked after the first wing. I'll give them a little something for the effort but you won't receive total consciousness after eating these wangz.

Tin Roof.

Lemon Pepper and Extra Hot Wings. I'm just a glutton for punishment... Well, mostly just a glutton that gets punished for shoveling crap from a plastic picnic bowl into the inner recesses of my volatile bowels. This pairing has been the standard for the pouch. Maybe I'm just trying to see what real lemon pepper wings taste like from a place that actually makes it... And these ain't it. The extra hot wings were medium hot once again. The size of the wings were acceptable, just a tad smaller than the robust medium wings that I expect.  

The Grove.

Lemon Pepper. I have never been in here before. But I'm glad I did because it's full of old people. I love that shit, watching how the geriatric underworld operates at night. Where do they keep their Rascals and is there a supply of Fixodent behind the bar? I never really got the lemon pepper concept, it's never real lemons, just some powder mix of chems and stale black pepper tossed to coat after frying. They seasoned these very lightly and it didn't have the lemony, peppery kick that it should. The wings are pretty good but the mix was middling.

Naked. Sauce on the side. Thank god, I usually order it this way because they have only one sauce. If you want medium, they pour a lil in and toss. If you want hot, they pour a lot of it in and toss. What a crock of shit! I kinda like their thinkin', though... People are pretty stupid they wouldn't even notice. The "hot" sauce tasted like a mix of Cholula and Texas Pete... which is mild-medium at best. The naked wings were spot-on medium size, crispy and juicy. No complaints on the wings, just the stupid hot sauce.

 Wings N Grill.

This dump is in a corner of a K-Roger strip mall somewhere in Indianville off the Scott Blvd area. The wings are tiny and the extra extra hot sauce is weaker than Stephen Hawking doing curls with a Bic ball point pen. The other flavor was honey BBQ which was HFCS heaven... Shit went straight to my ass and taint for a reach around. Look away and keep moving.

Mamak.

The wings were super crispy and had a orangy hue to it, they marinade it in something but it's very faint. Need to ask them next time. Good wings but $7 for 5 drums and flats doesn't make it so great. 

Napoleon's.

Smoked Chicken Wangz. Sounded great on paper. Looked nice when it came out. The outer part was smokey for sho' but when you get to where the meat touches the bone.. It was game over. The wings were parboiled and then smoked. A lot of places do this but most people wouldn't even notice it sober but the pouch's awareness amplifies with booze... Especially with wangz.

El Rey Del Taco.

The first thing you always order at a taco joint is the hot wings, naturally. Seriously, when you have been boozing all night, wings are a godsend... Hell, wings anytime is a godsend. Mexican hot wings aren't as crispy or spicy but they did the trick.

Craft Izakaya.

Fried Chicken Wings. If there's fwied cheekan on the menu, it's going in my pouch. They tell me these are some of the best wings in town if not the best... That's a bold statement to say it in front of my marsupial pouch. He takes that as a challenge. The batter is well seasoned, crunchy and breaks away pretty easily while it does it's job on sealing in the juices inside. These were pretty good but Sobban's KFC wings still the king of the wings. The spicy sauce was nice but not hot enough. I would prolly not get these again because it was quite pricey for four wings at almost $9.. You know how many pieces of incredible cheekan I can get at Popeyes for nine-friggin-dollars!!

Blue Ribbon Grill.

Jumbo Buffalo Wings. Nice that you can split the style of wings to be had on a 10 order. Spicy hot wasn't all that spicy, it was pretty pathetic actually. I think it was carrot puree sauce. The other was lemon pepper, if you wanna call it that. It was like under seasoned dry fried wings with a squirt of lemon from a bottle with a couple flakes of black pepper from the paper packet you get with to-go orders. The wings weren't jumbo but more the standard mid size. It's pretty pedestrian but I ate it all anyways. I'm such a careless fat fuck... But I did really enjoyed the rest of this dump.

 Sweet Auburn.

Smoked Wings. I woulda gone with anything besides the BBQ sauce (spicier the better) but my buddy wanted BBQ sauce instead... Wow, what an adventurous eater. Dick. Who am I kidding this guy would eat cardboard and tell me it was good. Besides the boring as shit BBQ sauce the wings weren't half bad. Plump, tender and a hint of smoke... Or was that just the smelly hobo sitting a couple chairs down from me? They were not fully smoked, more like finished off in a smoker. But at the end of the day, I would order more of these with a different sauce.

Quickly.

I can't end the round up without including my favorite Taiwanese nugget joint... They are still the king of spicy cheekan nuggets... And don't forget to be a man and get them full on spicy all the way. SO GODDAMN GUUD.

Burp.