It's like some trailer park trash snack (um hmm, Hot Pockets) that you ate all the time when you were a kid... It might have been terrible but that fuck stick was good at that point in your life. For me it was those toaster oven La Choy mini eggrolls. I'm just messin' wit y'all, I was too poor for that high class shit. I just got some dusty old generic FMV (For Mexican Value) frozen tater tots and dipped them in soy sauce (caramel coloring) and pretended they were the mini eggrolls. Yeah, I know, ghetto. But now, I'm rich, biatch... And I can buy all the real La Choy until my pouch's content.
Nevermind all that mess... Let's just eat some hipster Mexican fake chow.
Chips and Green & Red Salsa- Study this picture closely. There's like 5 whole tortillas chips and the rest looked like it came from the bottom of the bag. How the fuck do you expect me to scoop any salsa from a chip the size of a hamster's fingernail? If this basket of chip bits was Rambo, then it beat the shit outta me through attrition. One after another... I gave up. Keep serving chips bits like this, don't forget one thing... A good supply of body bags.
Pork Taco- Similar to what you can score at any mercado on Buford Hwy but the taste and the integrity fell short. It had no taste, no seasoning, no cojones, the tortilla even though double ply fell apart like cheap wet Russian toilet paper. No salsa, hot sauce or what have you coulda saved this. I love munching tacos but this reminded me of my Mexican't ex-gf who couldn't speak one lick of Spanish. Like her, this was a disappointment.
Chicken Burrito- Look at the girth of this thing. It's at least 3 pounds. Fucking impressive, ese! If some hobo tries to steal your meal outside, just swing this bad boy at his face for maximum stoppage, it might even leave a tattoo on his forehead. Bumfights ain't got shit on this beast.
The burro innards. Once again, it's devoid of flavor. WTF am I? Willy's has more kick in the taint. The red beans were barely drained/strained of the excess funk from their holding tank that it basically turned the bottom half of this monstrosity into mush before you even have a chance to get half way through. Grab a set of plasticware and a heaping of those tiny 4x2 recycled napkins because you're in for a treat... Like a couple of fat chicks K-Y Jelly wrasslin'.
Steak Quesadilla- It looked promising with its width... But the caramel colored spots proved signs of uneven flat top temperature. So you get soft bites and crispy bites throughout your journey from roti to naan to bread chips. To add injury to insult, the side order of brownish gray oxidized guacamole totally drained the blood flow from my erect burrito. It tasted off to say the least.
After lifting up the tort flaps to inspect the goods under the hood, there was not much there to be desired. Small cubes of meat scattered lightly around, along with some salsa and a sprinkling of Jack cheese... I know you're prolly asking who is this Jack person and why is he soiling my flap sandwich. But I assure you no one by the name Jack works here... You can blame it on Rio.Tortillas, there is no substitute. I hate to say it but Willy's (not that I go there much either) is better than BSB... Tortillas can be compared to old relationships, it was a phase in our lives, it is gone now and let's just remember how it was, good or bad and move on. But if you're one of those people who can't seem to let go, you can once again pretend to be a hipster and eat hipster grub right here, anytime and relatively cheap.
1 Star.
1663 Howell Mill Rd
Atlanta, GA 30318
404-835-2018
http://www.bellstreetburritos.com
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