HD1

We all know the burger craze has exploded all over Atlanta like Jerry Sandusky on a 5th grader. It's like a giant greasy wet dream and there's no end in sight... Well, it's kinda hard to see the end with all these fatties in the way. But can Atlanta handle or even care about a hot dog/sausage craze? I don't think so but let's entertain the thought anyways...

So, the unrelenting trail Blais-er finally won the title of Top Chef All Stars after years of staying on the show until he did. After completing his goal on TC, he jumped on the burger train with Flip. Getting tired of round buns, he shifted his attention to top split buns and tube steaks... And hence Haute Doggery was born. Like in true ADD form, before the doors were even opened to wiener heaven he was focusing on another project, the Spence. So, don't expect to see him cooking here ever but that's another story, we're here for meat shafts and ye shall have meat rods in ye mouths.

This whole concept seemed pretty much thrown together to me. It feels like a pet project that was done just to spread his seed and manhood around, so no one forgets his name when he moves out to Cali (just speculation, wink wink). But anyways, the decor is dark and dreary, it's almost funeral-esque. Is it a speakeasy? Is it a noshery? Is it a bingo hall? I'm just a simple caveman, I don't understand your modern styles and sensibilities. Let me just look at this cave wall and see what's edible.

The ordering operation is a clusterfuck. If you're gonna hire someone to be a hostess/order taker... Make sure she knows how to run the operation up front. Because it seemed like she can't even run a bath. Case in point- On one of my earlier visits, I asked the hostess on duty what beers where available (since there's no beer menu written on the wall but they do have a decent selection of cute suds) and it suddenly turns into an Abbott & Costello routine. So, here's her response:
"What you see on the wall there behind the bar."
Ok, I'll have a Sapporo.
"Oh, we don't have that, it shouldn't be on there."
Why not?
"They were for the opening party or something."
Hmmm. Fine I'll have the blah blah blah beer then.

Not 2 minutes later after grabbing a seat, I see a buddy at the bar drinking a fucking giant can of Sapporo. I asked him where he got that, he said from the bartender. Wha Da Fuk?! That fucking nitwit... So pissed. Mebbe the food will make up for it...

(Fried chicken livers, mustard greens & HD hot sauce)

I love fried livers but is this a joke? It was 90% batter, 10% chopped liver. How do you fuck up fried chicken livers to this degree? And how do you even let it out of the kitchen? They were absolutely dismal. A few stringy pieces that looked and tasted almost like the shit tube you take off the back of a shrimp. It was an insult... And a rip off at $6 for a couple of measly pieces. Mustard greens were ok and hot sauce tasted like rusty pipe water.

(Pig in the Sheets)

Sounded interesting enough... Why not? When it came out, I was like... Hot Pockets! I actually had some that was more exciting than this. The minced pork thinger inside was dry and bland, the pastry tasted like it was cooked the day before and had that old gummy texture to it. The sauces didn't make it any better. A real snoozer.

(Louisiana Lobster Roll, mirliton salad, shrimp head aioli)

As you can guess, it doesn't contain real lobster like Zabar's Lobster Salad, it's all crawfish tails. Surprisingly, this was pretty good. At $10 a pop, it's a fair deal but I wouldn't get it again. The crawfish were nice and tender, no evidence of a shrimp head aioli, the "slaw" was pretty good, it coulda used some more seasoning but you know what, the top split buns made up for it. I really like them a lot. They sourced some great bread here. When it's buttered and toasted, it's like heaven not matter what you put inside... Ok, well, I won't go that far but the buns are killer.

(Chicken Apple Sausage, herbed creme fraiche, walnuts, sour grape relish)

A sausage is not a sausage if it has anything else besides meat. Poultry or anything with wings do not qualify as sausage. It's the same concept as a vegetarian burger, it is not a burger, it's a patty of crap not even my dog would eat. The chicken log had no flavor, you taste more walnuts than anything else... But the bun! The bun was excellent.

(Beef Pastrami Dog, ox tongue & tripe hash, rusky dressing)

You would think this would be a flavor explosion in your mouth but all you can taste is salt. It was salty as hell. The tongue and tripe hash did nothing for this dog. What the hell is a rusky dressing? Russian dressing? Like in a Big Mac? I don't get it. But that buttered and toasted top split bun, man, was it good.

(Eastbound and Down, house frank, Carolina pulled pork, sweet mustard slaw, mop sauce)

First bite, that overly salty pulled pork was all you can taste. Push it off the dog and it wasn't half bad... Might as well just got the plain classic house dog. Guess what the best part of this dog was? Yeah, the fucking top split bun.

(Irish Bangers & Mash with Onion Gravy)

A very mediocre display... mash was barely warm and pretty dry. Needed more salt and a cup of butter. The banger (singular) was also barely heated through and really nothing noteworthy in taste. Onion gravy tasted like it came from a packet. Sounded good on paper but so did the Communist Manifesto.

All these fancy toppings and names on the menu is just for show. With so much stuff on top, all the different types of dogs all kinda tasted the same after awhile... Some were bland and others way over the top salty. The plain house frank is prolly the best bet because you can actually taste the wiener. One thing that made me laugh was how they were grilling the dogs... They shoved a thermometer up the wiener's butt while it was on the grill cooking. Talk about fuzzy internal temp. No wonder why every single dog I had was luke warm at best. I also sampled the Red Haute Dog and the Chicken Wing Confit with Lemon Curd & Szechuan Pepper... Nothing really stuck out to me in flavor or taste.

The menu read well but the product and execution was nothing more than any other local bar has to offer except for higher prices. If I'm paying more for better ingredients, I would actually like to taste a difference. Would I come back in the future? I don't think I can handle another disappointment. As with all celebrity gimmicks, they wear thin after awhile.

PS- I know where they source their top split buns... No need to come back here. And no, it ain't H&F.

1 Star.

664 North Highland Ave
Atlanta, GA 30306
(404) 815-1127
www.hd1restaurant.com/