Lan Zhou Ramen Re-Revisit

Holy Fat Albert... I really out did my disgusting rotund self this time... I promised my one reader that I will eat everything on this menu and I never lie when it comes to food... Especially, dericious hand made grub. There's no mystery that I fucking fell in love with this place right after I put the cook's toothsome noodle in my mouth and swallowed it all... And I didn't even use my teeth, it slid down my facehole naturally just like how skillfully Seka inhaled many a hogs in her day with ease. Now, this fat fuck is back with a mission or a vengeance, depending on the pouch's mood today... We all know this is the new hot spot for some sick ass hand made knife sliced noodles... And every FOB and gwailo is fucking jumping aboard on this noodle boat and packing the joint. Sometimes, the non-adventurous tourists in here get so annoying asking for fried rice that I wanna karate chop them like Ms. Piggy... Hiyaaaaa! There's not much else to say about this joint that I haven't already said in my other reviews before... So, let's get a chomping and a slurping because there's a ton of grub to be eaten tonight. Go big or go back to China... As I always say, wait, I just made that shit up...

Sliced Beef and Ox Tripe in Chili Sauce. This batch was top notch and better than any previous visits. It's a hefty mound of tripe and tendon in a chili sauce that could be spicier but you can just amp it up with the chili sauces on the table to whatever heat level you like. This shit is just plain tasty as fuck.

Shranghai Pan Fried Pork Buns. Look at this motherfucker... It's a thing of beauty and they taste even better. I absolutely love these things and no one in this one horse town is doing anything close to this. A must get every time.

Fried Chive Cake. Same thing as scallion pancake and these were good but maybe just a tad bit over pan fried... A bit too crispy and dried out on their own.. But if you dip it in the soup broth, that shit is good. They were slammed on this visit so I assume they were doing a million other things in the kitchen and let these go for a tad bit longer than they should have. But still worthy, though.

Kaifeng Steamed Soup Dumps. The first few times I got these, they were excellent... On this visit they were just ok, none of them were that soupy like I remembered. Still tasted good but it ain't a soup dump without soup inside. I would be wary on getting them again if the place is slammed... Or come real early before the crazy crowds so they can prepare these properly.

Fried Cucumber with Black Fungus. This was new dish to try... And damn was it tasty. That garlicky sauce was amazing, I just started spooning that shit into my facehole... I kinda wanted to get a bowl of rice to soak the rest of the sauce in but I didn't because I knew I needed the pouch space for the battle yet to come.

Chinese Style Spicy Chicken. I thought these would be lightly battered and deep fried but they were basically stir fried/dry fried with a decent amount of chili peppers and Szechuan peppercorns. It's not that spicy but it had a nice little tingle on the tongue... Just amp it up, yo!

Knife Sliced Noodle with Oxtail. This was on the top of my list to try the next time I was in... And it didn't disappoint. Chunky bones but there were a ton of tender cooked down meat within all the nooks and crannies of them oxtail bones. The knife sliced noodles were spot on as usual- ribbons of firm but yet chewy glutenous hand stretched dough. The broth is the same for all their noodle bowls and it was even better this time around.. Full of flavor and makes you wanna suck down every drop.

Knife Sliced Noodle with Beef Tendon. The tendons on this visit was on top of their game.. They were chunky and cooked through nicely. Tender and gelatinous but toothy at the same time. So damn good.

Hond Pulled Noodles with Beef Belly. Alright, I had to get a regular hand pulled noodle bowl... Which works better with the thick chunks of beef belly... And they were tender as fuck. They just melt in your mouth and then slurp it up with some thin pulled noodles. This is a very good bowl.

Knife sliced noodles with beef. This is basically their version of beef chowfun... They really don't have a dry or wet style... Shit, they didn't even know what the fuck beef chowfun was when I asked them. I asked them to do a wet style since I asked for the dry style last time. They said ok, no problem, this will have a little sauce... Little sauce my ass. It's just the oil they wok this shit in. But I gotta tell ya... Their version of beef chowfun was pretty damn tasty. The slices of beef had a different texture, they almost tasted like it was pre-cooked, packed and cooled down and then sliced and added to the noodles in the last couple of minutes of cooking. The had similar characteristics of the sliced beef and ox tripe small plate. Does this version of beef chowfun hold a candle to the Cantonese beef chowfun? Fuck no... But it will do when I'm here for their sliced noodle bowls.

Knife sliced noodles with tendon. Had to get this also for shits and giggles because their tendon on this day was too fucking good to pass up in another dish. Mostly the same as the beef noodles above but they also added in black fungus with the sick ass tendons.

Sweet baby Jesus, what did I just do? The fucking Coneheads ain't got nothin' on me! But I must stop consuming mass quantities... It ain't good for my girlish figure. The Pouch really over did it this time... And the staff was egging me to order more. Asking me if I had ever tried this or that on the menu... Of course, I can't say no that's why I had so many goddamn bowls of noodle soup in front of my fat snout. These fuckers are the devil, they tempt you with your deepest dreams and desires... But these demonic dickheads sure do know how to pull a proper noodle. That knife sliced face slut, Regan, never had it this good... All she got was rancid pea soup vomit. Fuck her... Wait, I take that back, her mom licked her bloody gash. No knife sliced noodle soup for you! 

5231 Buford Hwy NE
Doraville, GA 30340