Tsunami Taqueria

Can you believe this shit? More Goddamn Corean tacos... Stop the madness! First, you had Hankook Taqueria in that God forsaken desolate warehouse area on DeFoors which was basically created for college students and their limited F-U money budget. Then came Yumbii Korean Taco Truck spewing their funk on to the streets (well, designated private event property areas). Then, came OMG Taco in L5P which was basically created for all the dirty homeless hippie creastures that lurk in the crevices between the uprooted sidewalks. And now comes this specimen that took over the former Toulouse space. Toulouse was horrid and thanks to that piss boy, Gérard Depardieu, they finally closed after all these years, it was an insult to French cuisine. That strawberry shake thinger in a beer mug still gives me nightmares, like Strawberry Shortcake on smack.

So, how is this new Asian Latin Frankenfusion joint with the stupid name? Mixed feelings...

It had the look and feel of a college hangout... Mebbe it was because of the collegiate staff. Talk about wet behind the ears. They were not very well trained on the menu nor the bar. I see a decent home bar quality of booze, so I asked the bartender for a simple Sazerac. Her response (mind you, she's a self-proclaimed bartender), "I have no idea what that is, sorry..." Listen, Wonderbra, I was asking you for a drink, not what your name was. She said the bar manager can prolly help me, turns out the bar manager was as stumped as the bartender was. But she did say that she could make a mean Margarita, though... Hey, you gotta give credit to where credit is due. It fucking baffles the mind, even for a 5th grader. This is a story for the ages, I tells ya. Seems like the only capable thing the bar manager could handle was counting the beer inventory which she seem to spend most of her time. The incompetence level here is uncanny. Let's hope the food is much better.

There's a good bit of stuff on this menu but the more you read it, the more it sounds like the same shit with a different name. I look up towards the kitchen and see one of the fat cooks with headphones on practicing some form of popping and locking. Either he was choking and trying to signal for the Heimlich maneuver or this is the only black guy in Atlanta without rhythm. This is not a good sign. But the Tsunami Trio (2 tacos and 1 side) sounded like a good deal to sample a few main attractions. Here goes nothing and everything...

(Guacamole Fresco - Made to order guacamole with tomatoes, onions and fresh cilantro served with tortilla chips)

For the price, this was a huge heaping of guac. No doubt about it, tis was a good deal. The chunky avocado tasted freshly prepared but it had zero seasoning. It was this giant green ball of the blandlands, I had tennis balls with more flavor... The Penn balls are so choice. The lack of seasoning is an easy fix.

Asada Zing Taco- Bulgogi (Korean) marinated steak topped with shitake mushrooms, lettuce and soy-sesame vinaigrette. Nicely grilled "flour" tortillas, don't know if that's a plus or minus. The giant mount of shredded lettuce covered the entire taco, you don't know what you're eating and by then it's too late.

BBQ Short Rib- Short ribs smothered in Kogi BBQ and topped with cucumber salad. I don't know if you can call that a cucumber salad based on 4 thinly sliced cucumbers that were undressed. Short rib? You sure? Looks like it came from a can... On the same level like that burger in a can.

Roasted Corn- Canned corn, not a hint of roasted like quality, maybe it was roasted inside the can for your convenience. This fiasco tasted like college all over again.

Pacific Rim Taco- Grilled chili crusted Mahi topped with lettuce, pico de gallo and hoisen lime aioli. This Fish Called Wonder was truly a wonder, it had so much greens on it you couldn't tell if it was a Mahi Mahi or Crappie Crappie... I guess I'll find out soon. Splash.

Rising Sun Taco- Vietnamese style pork topped with Asian slaw and cilantro. Isn't the Rising Sun the symbol of the Japanese flag? Where did they come up with this quasi Vietnamese banh mi thinger from? Hold on, I got one, the Eskimo Kiss Taco... It's like Paella in a tortilla. Anyways, the chunks of pork were dried out.

Yucca Fries- It's too big... That's what the waitress said. Semi crispy outside and under-cooked inside. Nothing like cold crunchy in the center Yucca fwies. Yucca shove these sticks where the Rising Sun don't shine, pal.

Would I come back here? Maybe... And that's a big maybe. If they learn how to make more than one drink (margarita) and have meat choices that doesn't all taste the same and discernible only by looking at the menu. Maybe. This place is great for a cheap date for college kids or cheap charlies but sometimes you get what you pay for. Better yet, this place would be great for the late night booze filled crowd. You hear that TT? Change your hours to 9pm-5am. There, I just saved your biznaz. Suckaz.

1 Star.

2293 Peachtree Rd NE
Atlanta, GA 30309
(404) 963-5049
http://www.taqueriatsunami.com/