Wood's Chapel BBQ

Y'all knew this visit by the portly tubber was coming...
BBQ in this one horse town has become pretty legit and respected by the rest of the country... Not fully but respected nonetheless. I could name all the acceptable BBQ joints in this one horse town but I'm not going to. My stubby sausage fingers cannot type that much without developing blisters. So, the General Muir gang decided to open a BBQ joint... Hmmm. I do like General Muir and their food hall concepts but not enough to be regulars on my rotation. But when it comes to BBQ, I am always willing to try it at least one time.
Everyone has been sucking them off just by association... And I fucking hate that. Especially, the media and all the online "food critics" professing their love while saying it's still a work in progress at the same time. So, which is it... Good or bad? They are so enamored with them just because of their other restaurants that they could never write anything critical about something they have never done before... And a BBQ resto isn't something that you decide to open overnight just because you thought it was something fun to do. People spend years, even decades, mastering true BBQ. Some of these retards haven't even eaten the food or maybe just a couple of bites and they proclaim it the best BBQ in this one horse town. C'mon, give me a fucking break. The Pouch will never dumb down a review just because I'm friends with a resto... Luckily, only my one reader will know the truth if this BBQ stands up to the rest in this city... And within a very competitive crowd at that.
First off, it is millennial breeder heaven in here... And there is no fucking way most of these people in here lived around here. Summerhill is still a major work in progress, this little stretch of road near the deserted ballpark has a handful of businesses up and running which is fine during the day but when the sun goes down it is dead as fuck because it ain't exactly a safe space for the breeders. Just like Ponce City Market, Krog Street Market and Inman Quarter is also dead as roadkill during the week but it's tourist central on the weekends.
The one thing my one fan knows is that the Pouch will always deliver the good, bad and fugly on all things that's fit to eat. Let's go see if the adoring reviews live up to the hype as they claim...

Meat Sampler, sliced brisket, ribs, creamed corn, pork belly fried rice, pickled onions and pickles with standard BBQ, AP, Hog Mop and hot sauces, $17.50. Sounds like a hefty portion but the words on the paper menu weighed more than the meats on the tray. I wasn't wowed nor disappointed when this platter was placed in front of my snout. It was just like, eh, two meats and two sides. First of all, the sauces were nothing to write home about. They were all boring and none of them paired well with either of the meats. Even the hot sauce was weak as ass, it almost looked like the nuclear cloying orange sweet and sour sauce you get at slutty Chino joints. Let's take a closer look at each of the specimen on this tray...

Smoked pork belly fried rice looked decent enough until the first bite... It was boring and tasted like nothing, no smoke whatsoever. Hell, put a few squirts of liquid smoke to trick me at least. It was so under-seasoned it coulda passed for baby food. Pork belly my ass, it was minced up pieces of meat that coulda been any of the scraps and trimmings. Who's gonna know the difference... This was such a let down, a real snoozer.

Creamed corn with chili mayo, cotija and lime... It's basically an elote in a soup form. Mixed it all up and took a bite... Shit, mofos, this was pretty tasty. It had flavor and seasonings, could use some more cotija but it was totally acceptable. I almost put in some hot sauce from muscle memory but then I remembered how lame the hot sauce was. It's not a hard side dish to make at home but they did a respectable job here.

Beef brisket... Woof. I asked for sliced and this is what I got... I guess they never heard of the old saying, "Ask and you shall receive" because all I got was this small pile of end pieces and trimmings hiding underneath. After further investigation, it turned out to be a glob of fat cap hidden under that first layer of brisket... Which didn't have much of a smoke ring. The bark was pretty nice, not too thick and not too thin but it wasn't smokey at all... Which was quite baffling. The brisket was passable, a bit dry, but really nothing memorable enough to be crave-worthy status. I even had to use some of the sauces to get this down. If I never ate this again, I wouldn't be missing out on anything. Let's just say I won't have a case of FOMO but IBS, that's another matter. Perhaps it would have been a different story if I received some proper slices of brisket, instead. This was a really unexciting showing. What a shame.

St. Louis style pork ribs. The ribs also had a really nice bark, a lovely dark caramelized shiny coating... And they were smokey, too, unlike the brisket. The ribs were tender and moist and seasoned unlike the brisket. It's a decent rib but like the brisket, it ain't nothing worth driving down here for... You could get similar quality ribs at Publix.

Cue-bano, smoked pork shoulder, our ham, pickles, swiss, cracklins', mustard sauce, $13. I saw pictures of this presentation and I had to witness it for myself in real life. This plating is baffling, it's not like I don't know what's inside that wrapper. It's kinda weird that they sliced it down the middle length wise instead of the standard on the bias. Looks like you can use it to measure things with or beat back the hobos outside asking for your leftovers... Does the rule of thumb apply to hobos? Only if they are women. Let's take a closer look at this unconventional exhibit... This presentation is really annoying the fuck outta me... I gotta rearrange it for my sanity. Serenity now!

It was like unwrapping a Christmas gift you already knew what it was... I re-plated it in a few different positions but seriously, how many ways can you plate two thick rulers... This presentation looked a hundred times better than theirs. The bread was good but a bit too much color which almost tasted charred. Shit, this cuebano had more smoke than the brisket. The pressed bread was crunchy on the outside, pliable on the inside and held all the innards together well. Nothing fell out with each downward pressure bite. It's a decent version of a Cubano but at a pricey $13, once is all that my mama allows to me spend... Mama, it's ok because I won't be getting another one, again. The best Cuban in the city is still $5 and only my one reader will know the name of that joint.

I like the idea of this BBQ joint in this area, but the reality of it still has a long way to go. The breeders like this place because they can pretend to be hip still while their kids can scream all they want in here, make a mess and no one complains about it. I'm sure they will do well here based on their pedigree but will the hype last once the shiny newness of it has worn off.

It's not the best BBQ in this one horse town, far from it, but there are some decent bites to be had here. I ain't coming back here anytime soon but I'm really curious to try Junior's Pizza... Dammit, you mean I gotta come back here, again...

85 Georgia Ave SE
Atlanta, GA 30312
http://www.woodschapelbbq.com/