Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Snackboxe Bistro Lao Street Food

What the fuck is going on in this strip mall all of the sudden? It's been pretty much empty for years with only two major anchors, H Mart and Shoya... Which Shoya has been a favorite of the pouch since the beginning and still is. Now, there's Conch Heaven, Miss Gogi, Kula, Yebisuya for the last few months and more restos are opening up. The two newest ones are Champion Snack House and Snackboxe Bistro Lao street food. Since, some people have been raving about the Lao grub here (not counting the Yelptards, they fucking like anything), it made me curious enough to stop by before I went to H Mart to get some more 2X spicy hot chicken ramen... That is the spiciest instant ramen I have ever had and it's fucking impressive even for the pouch. Hopefully, this joint's grub will be more impressive than a bag of ramen.
Walked in and looked around, the interior was decently built out... Wasn't expecting anything fancy, but it was clean. You order at the counter and they give you a number. The Laos street food menu read well until you notice the prices... $7 for 3 wings? Come the fuck again? I was tempted to order them just so I could rip them a new asshole if they sucked ass but I just had some killer fwied cheekan the other night at Fork in the Road, 6 piece dark with 2 sides for $8.99... And I just couldn't justify spending $7 for 3 whole wings at this supposedly oriental street food joint. I know what y'all are saying, this fat fuck is passing on motherfucking fried chicken? Someone call a doctor, the pouch must be sick in the head. The wings aren't what you come here for anyways... It's the grub that you can't get anywhere else that interests me...
Let's go take a look and see if the Yelptards were right about the food or just spewing the same old shit outta their brown eyes in exchange for free grub... I think we all have a feeling about how this will go...

Khao Chee, sticky rice omelette cakes, pan fried crispy topped with seasoned egg wash, $5. Sounds so fucking good doesn't it? Yeah, until these cow muffin came out... I had these before and I was hoping they were on a stick and grilled with nice bits of char around it. Instead, we get these lightly brushed eggwash sticky rice cakes. There weren't much egg wash or seasoning to these bland ass patties... I had to dip them in chili paste just to wake myself up while eating them. If they were more seasoned I wouldn't have been so disappointed... No wonder no one was ordering these things. Skip these unless you're craving POW scraps... I can't even use the leftover rice to seal my envelopes.

Beef Jerky, Sticky Rice, $8. The jerky looked gorgeous and it tasted as good as it looked. But it doesn't come with sticky rice, that's an extra $2 for a small bag... That's just fucking wrong, mofo, everyone knows oriental jerky should always come with rice. It's like charging extra for rice when you order fried rice. So, this quick street snack will set you back $10... Fool me once... Fuck that noise. It was tasty but not worth it for a few small bites. I. Want. My. Two. Dollars.

Spicy Thum, green papaya salad, $6. I was pretty skeptical on getting a proper papaya salad at a fast causal Lao joint, but I was pretty impressed when this came out. It looked damn decent and not all Americanized. Even some Yelptards who says they can't find real Lao street grub in Atlanta were complaining about how spicy it was... Maybe they should read it first. Yeah, they're "foodies"... Fucking twats. Those numbnuts don't know what spicy is... This had a hint of heat, but just enough for the common palate. For the pouch it wasn't even at 10%. Besides the spice level, the flavors, colors and textures were all in there... I liked how they threw in a few pieces of Thai eggplant. This was a pretty nice specimen of a proper green papaya salad and may be one of the best executed version in this town.

Khao Poon, red curry pork noodle soup, $9. I like poon... Shit, who doesn't like poon. Well, it was either this or the chicken noodle soup... And I'll pick whatever is spicier every time. It's a pretty good portion, prolly one of the few things that feels like you got your money's worth. The best part of this bowl was the little pork on the bone nuggets hidden in the curry broth... The meat literally melted off the bone when you put it in your mouth. The rice noodles and broth were plentiful and once again the flavor, color and texture were all present... But for a red curry broth it was kinda weak... You can always add in some of their special chili paste in there to amp it up a bit. This noodle bowl alone can fill you up... But the marsupial pouch can not live on just one menu item.

$30 for 4 snacks isn't exactly the street food model... It ain't cheap to eat here, especially, when half the dishes I sampled were just average. I know what y'all are thinking... Why didn't you try the LARB, pouch? That's because the word larb is too close to lard... Like my ass. The spicy thum was the best thing I had on this visit and it may get me back in here to try some other pricey snacks... Maybe even the larb if I get properly lubed up with some, no, a lot of brown juice.

6035 Peachtree Road
Doraville, GA 30360
www.snackboxebistro.com

Wait... There's more!

Ok, I couldn't resist stopping by Champion Snack House to see what's going on in there... And it was dead as fuck. The place had a strange feeling and the pouch's spidey senses kicked in. I looked at the menu and pretended to be interested... It was basically Taiwanese style snacks and bento boxes. Since, I already ate a bunch of shit, I didn't want a  fake bento box to depress me any more than I was already... But there's always room for fwied cheekan nuggetz to make me happy again.

Salt & Pepper Popcorn Chicken. They looked pretty decent... The sweet potato starch coating looked a little light on the color, it coulda used another minute in the fryer to give it a little more crunch but it wasn't bad. Shit, I can't say no fried cheekan nuggets... I inhaled these within 2 minzies. Jesus, pouch, you really are a fat fuck... True story.

3 comments:

Pinky said...

Have you tried arby’s new nashville hot fish(?) sandwich?

Pinky said...

And another gross low rent side note....Sonic’s pickle slushee coming out in june!!

Anonymous said...

have you died?