Monday, October 29, 2012

Shabu & Shabu

Summer is over. Sandy is taking a big dump on the east coast. There's a chill in the air. Nipples are erect. Sacks are shrinking. Shit is about to get real. How does one cope with all these dilemmas?

2 words: Shabu Shabu, bitches.

Yeah, that's right... Shabu Shabu K-town style. Why not? They have taken sushi and ramen and made it their own already, the next logical step is to do hot pot. 

I hope they have him on the menu. You know a resto is gonna be fobulicious when the eating utensils are from Overstock.com.

Combo. Beef, pork, chicken and seafood... Pick two. And of course, it comes with the standard veggie assortment plate which is basically the flavoring elements for this generic veggie based stock (K-hot pot is usually spicier but whatever, it's catered towards the K-pop crowd anyways). There's a hot dog split in half which makes me laugh. The thinly sliced beef is fine for hot pot, no need for premium cuts that will be boiled anyways. The seafood includes a whole baby octopus which was a nice touch, overall, the selection and quality is a little better than the other hot pot joints.

 Super generous side order of trip. Very surprised and happy.

I ordered the ramen noodles first and it was fucking dried instant ramen from Walmart! They actually charged $2 for that shit but that wasn't the half of it, they broke that dried up cow muffin in half per order, so it was this tiny pathetic display with some seasoning sprinkled on top. I sent that shit back for some real noodles... Made all the difference.

They insisted on making the sauce, either extra spicy, spicy or mild. Ah, ok, makes sure it's extra spicy. It was ok, didn't really do much except added a little heat. You can make your own sauce, just walk around to the back.

I told this lil fucker not to look directly at the Ark of the Covenant... They never learn. I ate him anyways. Creastures that God made in his own image are always more dericious.

One combo order with a couple of extra sides is more than enough for 2 people... But they will prolly say you can't share. I say fuck you. Just pretend to be a FOB at a FOB joint... Play dumb and it works like a charm every time. The initial server was brain dead, I mean, a total nitwit... He stared at me with this "Life Goes On" gaze, eyes glazed over from whatever drugs he was on or maybe he was really a special needs patient that's working to make ends. Whatever the case, I'm down-syndrome with that.

The place is clean and totally acceptable if you're in the area. The hot plates are the biggest pieces of shit, you gotta constantly adjust the knob under the table. That's what she said.

1 Star.

2605 Pleasant Hill Rd
Ste 300
Duluth, GA 30096
(678) 584-1111

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Nam Phuong

There's no shortage of Vietnamese joints on Buford Hwy and all points north of the city. Most of them are average at best but there are a handful that does some fresh and tasty grub. Some excel at a few items while others are good across the board... And this place is one of them. They now have two locations, the original up on Jimmy Carter and there's a smaller one that opened not too long ago at the old Pho #1 space on Buford Hwy which is closer to town. Both have the same menu and the food is pretty much consistent at both locations. 

First, a quick lunch at the new location... It didn't smell like hamster vomit anymore like when it was Pho #1 and it's just a helluva lot cleaner now. Let's hope the food is just as fresh and so clean clean.

DIY Vermicelli with Grilled Pork. Always fun to play with your food. But they were kinda chintzy on the vermicelli and prok. Still tasty, though.

Spring Rolls on Vermicelli. Bowl of soft thin noodles with super crispy crunchy spring rolls. Now, this is the kind of filler I'll ram down my pouch. Don't forget the fish sauce.

Seafood Congee. Kinda watery-er and nothing like Chinese congee but it didn't have to be because it was friggin' dericious in it's own right. It should thicken up with time but it didn't take long to finish it, so, I don't know if that theory of mine is true.

Time for another trip to the original location for dinner...

Fried Chicken Wings Glazed w/ Fish Sauce. These are fucking awesome. The end.

Papaya Salad. The portion is no joke but the flavors coulda been a bit more intense for me... Nothing a little Sriracha and fish sauce can't fix.

They have a nice prix fixe family menu selection depending on the amount of people you want to feed but the 4 person menu is more than enough for about 6 people. The price for this feast  is one of the best values in town and it includes most of the greatest hits...

Summer Rolls. Fat and plump rolls that would make a Clermont Lounge stripper blush when she takes her first bite. Squirt.

Lotus Root Salad. I lurv lotus root but this was just ok, it was kinda boring with muted flavor. The deep fried prawn chips were good though.

Vietnamese Shaking Beef. Tender nuggets of meatgold that will make your booty shake.

Caramelized Catfish Fillet.A bit over caramelized and too sweet but still a good tasting dish.

Sweet and Sour Soup with Shrimp. Fragrant, tasty and filling. What else do you want?

Salt and Pepper Squid. This is one of the best versions in town. Light, crispy, tender and not greasy at all. So pho king good.

It might not be the best Vietnamese in town but they are consistent across the board. The ingredients are fresh and clean, the cooking is executed with vibrant flavors, the service is quick and friendly and they are exceptionally clean for an Asian resto, especially for a Vietnamese joint.

Me like you long time.

2 Stars.

4051 Buford Highway Northeast
Atlanta, GA
(404) 633-2400

5495 Jimmy Carter Blvd
Norcross, GA 30093
(770-409-8686)
http://www.namphuongatlanta.com/

Monday, October 22, 2012

Lure

The new trend in this town is fish shacks... Well, not really. But the two newest competing fish joints are not exactly starting a new war like the pizza scene a couple years ago. So, after an abysmal last visit at the Best New Restaurant of the Year the other night, I had to see what this place was up to these days. Fifth Group restos are not exactly on the top of my go to list (I had a very mediocre meal at SCK midtown recently) but this seafood joint has a little more going for it. Let's go take a look and see what they can do...

Fried Oyster Sliders, remoulade and watercress on a soft bun. Yeah, these were nice. Crunchy outside and briny inside. Keep it simple and it's a wonder how delicious they can be.

Fried Ipswich Clam Bellies with lemon. I had been fucked by so called "fried clam bellies" before in this town, so, anytime I see this on a menu I have to be cautious not to get my hopes up. Most of the time there are no bellies to be had and only strips... But this dish surprised me. It was pretty good and you can actually get a decent size belly or two that explodes in your mouth. It's a keeper.

Grilled Chicken Hearts with salsa verde. I was very surprised to see this on the menu. White people don't exactly knock down the doors for this offal (lord knows I have knocked down doors to Popeyes). I thought it was prepared decently but a couple other people had other opinions at the table. Chicken hearts can get overcooked real quick and they did a good job not to do that. The salsa verde seemed more like a chimichurri in taste and consistency. It's a try it once type of a dish.

Sauteed Red Grouper, curried creamed corn, yogurt and spicy lime pickle. Looks like shit but it tasted pretty good. The portion is a tad on the small size but it'll do. The curry didn't really come through in the corn but I liked the spicyness of that other sauce thinger.

Spicy Vercruz-Style Seafood Cocktail, clams, shrimp, mussels, squid, citrus and a shot of hennepin ale. This was special... With this beer/cocktail combination. So, you're suppose to pour the beer in it. Yeah, that's sounds strange but isn't a duck-billed, beaver-tailed, egg-laying mammal also? Just do it, shut up and eat it. It's an interesting combo of flavors but I liked it. All the seafood bits were poached off nicely and not rubbery. But it's still a one time dish for me.

Grilled Octopus & Pork Lettuce Wraps, mixed herbs and spicy vietnamese sauce. This was amusing. Seems like every resto in town has some type of Asian wrap thinger. This combo of octo and prok sounded guud to me and it was pretty tasty. The Vietnamese sauce is just plain old fish sauce aka nuoc cham... But it worked, somewhat.

Grilled Block Island Swordfish, quinoa, apricots, preserved mushrooms, carrot jus. Swordfish was cooked and seasoned well... It tasted alright. No complaints from me on this thing but no rave reviews either.

Braised Snapper, yellow wax beans, sweet & hot peppers, saffron-coconut broth. I didn't like how they cooked it with it curling on the sides... You gotta score it, bro. C'mon. But overall, the taste of it was acceptable but the saffron-coconut broth didn't taste anything like it.

Pan-Fried Sole Fillets, bread crumbs, capers, brown butter and sauteed spinach. This ain't gonna a win a beauty contest but it won with my taste buds. This is a good tasting piece of fish. Period. Everything tastes better with butter.

Jonah Crab Tagliatelle, saffron tomato sauce, basil, lemon, bread crumbs. Undercooked pasta, crab playing hide and seek, just weak overall. A definite one time try dish. Nevermore.

Fish & Chips, acadian redfish in lacy sourdough batter with fries and malt vinegar. The large girthy pieces of redfish were a plus but the crust was thin and limp. Did this fish live in a sink? Because the fish itself was incredibly bland, flavorless and mushy. How did this get passed the window? Sent it back. Just awful... But the fries were ok though.

Grilled North Carolina Mahi Mahi, summer salad and fresh goat cheese. This was the replacement dish for the fish & chips. While the mahi mahi was cooked decently, the salad was just way too acidic, it almost killed the dish but luckily the fish was propped up, so it really didn't soaked. The goat cheese did nothing for this dish... Some nice colorful waxy potatoes woulda been better.

Guava Coconut Bread Pudding. Mmm, guava.

 Rice Pudding Sundae. There is a good amount of rum in this... Yesss.

Sourdough Funnel Cake. Cute, steamy and crunchy... Just like at a carnival.

Citrus Tart. What did you just call me? Tis was tart alright, real tart.

I was kinda disappointed at their selection of fish for the night... No skate, halibut, tuna, scallop, langoustine, monkfish, et al. It coulda been a sourcing thing for that day but I would take this place over the Optimist anytime, anyday of the week... But that doesn't mean Lure doesn't have their share of problems. An order of the grilled ribeye (a $33 dish) requested medium rare came out almost well with a solid gray in the middle. The second try came out rare/blue (I actually don't mind this temp but it was ordered medium rare, so that's how it should be served). WTF? I have never seen this happen before that it took 3 tries to get an average sized piece of meat cooked medium rare. Compound the mess that was the fish & chips to this blunder of meat... And it was actually quite entertaining like some Three Stooges act. Never heard so many apologies in one night. The service and staff were great and did their best with all the fuck ups from the kitchen. But I guess I shouldn't assume a primarily seafood joint to know how to cook a steak. What was I thinking?

1.5 Stars.

1106 Crescent Avenue NE
Atlanta, GA 30309
(404) 817-3650
http://lure-atlanta.com/

Boba Mocha

Bubble tea joints are popping up everywhere nowadays like the Froyo fad of yesteryear. The weeks old Boba Mocha is located in a tiny strip mall next to ALDI which can be easily missed on busy Pleasant Hill. The interior is cute and doesn't look as cheap as a few other places you find on Pleasant Hill... Like that dump, Lattea, literally (that place was god awful). The menu consist of the standard issued list of tea/drink flavors and small snacks. And of course, you have to compare this newbie to the benchmark... Quickly and a close second to Sweet Hut. The only thing I care about is the Taiwanese style cheekan nuggets and how they stack up to Quickly's uber addictive version. They also have larger than snacks daily lunch plates specials. Knowing how to read a menu is important because somethings may sound great but they usually turn out to be store bought frozen shit... As in the case of their springs rolls and a few other items.

Thai Tea and Milk Tea. I liked the Thai tea a lot and the tapioca was cooked perfectly. The milk tea was decent but it needed to be a bit stronger, the sweetness from the condensed milk was just right.

Calamari and Taiwanese Chicken Nuggets. The calamari was pretty unremarkable for a few flavorless strips  which was a fucking ripoff and the chicken nuggets were just OK... Not as good as Quickly's spicy, crunchy and juicy nugs.

The place is cute and warrants a visit if you're nearby but don't bother driving all the way up to bumblefuck just for the bubble tea. Those take out cartons are such a waste of paper and money to be filled with such mediocre snackery.

2628 Pleasant Hill Rd
Ste 100

Duluth, GA 30096
(678) 367-3757

Sunday, October 21, 2012

The Optimist Fish Camp & Oyster Bar - Update

So, this is what the 2012 Best New Restaurant of the Year tastes like... Well, according to John Mariani of Esquire magazine. The critic that Anthony Bourdain has called out numerous times on the validity of his reviews throughout the years and labeling him as a "professional junketeer" and goes on to say that "This guy has been a one-man schnorrer for decades. He’s been caught red-handed on numerous occasions — but his employers continue to dissemble on his behalf. Everyone in the business knows this and has known this for years. All of his peers knows how he does his business and how he operates. The only people who don't know are his readers." He sounds like he should be on Yelp but for all y'all non-gentiles that don't know what a "schnorrer" is, it comes from the Yiddish term meaning "beggar" or "sponger". Some even define it as "One who habitually takes advantage of the generosity of others; a parasite.". I don't know if he is one in real life or not but I have never trusted a mens' fashion magazine for their culinary prowess... To me, Esquire is as credible as Guns & Ammo. And giving the title of Best New Restaurant of the Year to a 4 month old resto is a little suspect to me... But what do I know? Let's go back for yet another visit and see if they really have hit a grand slam up in this piece.

I have been here a couple times since they opened and I do love the space. They did a good job with making it spacious but yet cozy at the same time. The open kitchen is great, too... For the customers' entertainment, but not so much for the line cooks (more on that later). The hostess(es) were great, friendly and accomodating. The servers not so much. But whatever, the food is all I care about... Let's go to the videotape...

Bread. These are really good, fresh, warm and with just a touch of salt.

Fried oysters, smoked paprika mayonnaise, house pickles. Nicely fried, crunchy batter and semi briny inside. Pickles were tasty. Overall, a good, simple, tasty app except for the pap mayo smear.

Spicy glazed spanish octopus, watermelon, coriander. Mid teens pricing, kindergarten portion. Two measly tentacles? For real? What is the food cost on this... 3%? The ingredients of the dish on the menu didn't exactly match up either but does anyone care? Prolly not. Disppointing is too nice of a word for this. What a rip.

Garlicky tiny clams & pork belly, hand-torn croutons. I gave it another, another chance. Still salty as ever, half the portion and 25% more expensive. I got suckered again. Children, this is how you make more money to open more mediocre restos that people will eat up.

Frothy she-crab soup, shrimp toast. Why do restos keep calling it a she-crab soup when it has no crab roe in it? Supposedly, it's blended in... Does that include rainbows and unicorns, too? This was all heavy cream, salt and nothing else... Christ, they should just make this creme anglaise into ice cream instead. People rave about the shrimp toast, sure, if you love oily thick Texas toast that disintegrates in your mouth with no shrimp flavor/essence/taste/powder deteched. At double digit pricing you would expect at least one lump of crab... Hell, scratching your balls over the soup would even make a big difference.

Maine sea scallops, oxtail marmalade, brown butter-chicken jus. At almost $30, you'd expect this entree not to look like an appetizer. Not only was this presentation looked haphazzarded, it was way overcooked, over-caramelized, rubbery and bland. I have had more tender superballs from a 50 cent gumball machine in Plaza Fiesta. Oxtail marmalade tasted like the Lloyds's BBQ beef you get in the plastic tubs at Publix. Overall, inedible and amateur at best.

Whole “swimming” black bass, garlic ginger sauce, sweet peppers, crispy shallots. Is this a joke? The entire fish is fried whole which was never stated on the menu... But that's not the joke part. The size of the fish is the punchline. It's a rather too dainty of a bass to be fried whole, let alone over fried which made it hard as a rock and moisture-less flesh. The look on the fish's face was priceless and depressing at the same time... Like watching one of those Peta videos in the slaughter house. No matter what direction I turned him, he was constantly staring at me... Like the creepy eyes of a ship captain in a painting you find inside a haunted house. I felt bad for the poor bastard, I wanted to "catch and release" him but he would have just sank to the bottom of the Chattahoochee. I'm not even gonna get into the sauce and accoutrements... It's all dead fish floating in the water under the bridge. Let's move on.

Monkfish, tomato broth, hen of the woods mushrooms, pickled fennel. I love monkfish, I have a soft spot for it because he has the face only a mother could love... Kinda like me. This was prolly the best dish of the night... Not that it was spectacular but it was the most edible. But the salt element... Still unreal.

Basmati “fried rice,” smoked fish, curry, crushed peanuts, egg. I had have better fried rice from a Rice-a-Roni box. The rice was overcooked and mushy. The peanuts were whole not crushed as you can see. The smoked fish were scaly and slimy. The bits of scrambled eggs were good, though... I used that lime for my cocktail since they forgot it, that was fresh at least.

Wood roasted beets, smoky vinaigrette, horseradish, apple. This is the plating of the best new resto? Did they use the plate as a catcher's mitt? Batter up! I guess they threw it too hard into the plate because the beets were mush. Wood roasted? What kinda wood... Morning wood? One of the most simple and delicious root vegetable to prepare... Ruined. I remember an episode of Little Rascals where they cooked a beet in a old rusty can that turned out better than this... You know Spanky was a good cook by the size of that fat fuck.

Corn milk hushpuppies, “beignet style,” cane sugar butter. Holy shit, there's like at least 5 grams of coke on those balls... Where are the groupies to snort them off of when you need them? Oh, man, the good old days back at the clubs. Did I say that out loud? Nevermind. These balls were ok but does it really need a double dose of sugar on sugar... Only if you're trying to mask something.

I had to throw this back in there because it's so classic... No, I didn't order one this time but a friend at another table did and he said it was not what he expected and that it had some weird aftertaste to it. At least, I wasn't the only one that thought the same. They did lower the price of this thing though but does it really matter?

After the half finished plates have been cleared and the over-priced check paid... We adjourned to the oyster bar to salvage the night with a stiff drink. 15 minutes have passed and not even one iota of acknowlegdement of our existence... So, we went back into the main bar. Bartender mixed us the most spectacular drinks, a beer and a couple Eiswein... He was really good at that. But here's the best part... Right in front of us, a couple of servers still on duty were pounding gourmet beers at the end of the bar with the help of said bartender. Hey, what a great place to work, where you can drink all night and get paid. Sweet. The open kitchen is great amusement, too... Especially, when watching the line cooks drink from open containers while working at their stations, isn't that a health code violation or something? The cook expediting would have caught the over-cooked scallops if he wasn't fucking around with the help... But that was just an observation. Is it me or were the staff like extras on the Walking Dead? They were lifeless and seemed like they had somewhere else better to be.

I am left speechless after this dreadful last and final visit... Could it have been all the salt that purged the life force from my body and vocal cords like a cucumber? If this is the best new restaurant of the year... Then, I can't wait for the up and coming primitive cookery, King Dukie, to open in the old Nava space and the future Chinese joint they have in the works, also... Wait, or is that Mexican, I can't keep up anymore... But one thing is for sure, I can't endure another bite from this place.

No Rating.

914 Howell Mill Rd
Atlanta, GA 30318
(404) 477-6260
http://theoptimistrestaurant.com/ 

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Met Dol Noodle & Dumplings

Whenever I see the words noods or dumps on a sign, I usually follow the pouch's instinct and obey his command... He's like Kuato but he doesn't have pink eye and pubic hair growing out of his head, though. I think that's a good thing... Let's hope this place is a good thing. So, let's take a quick look and grab a bite and see if they will close by year end. I was hoping for some tasty Chino dumps but when I got closer it turned out to be a Corean joint. Can you believe that... In Duluth? The husband and wife team, he cooked and she served, were very lovely people... Let's hope I don't have to flush their toilet at the end.  

Take a guess what that thing on the left is... And no, it doesn't flush.

Kimchi and Pickled Radish. House made, not bad at all.

Ox Bone Broth, handmade beef dumplings and noodles. For reals? Fuck yeah! Please don't be a disappointment like everything else in my life. The creamy broth looked promising... And it turned out pretty decent but I still suspect there were powder enhancements involved. Was it rich, flavorful and complex? No, but I know what some people will be thinking when they see this... It ain't no tonkotsu, period. The dumplings were nice... They almost melted in your mouth or mebbe they were just over-cooked. The noodles were ultra soft and slurpable. This bowl would go well with a hangover... And it did. The noods and dumps tasted handmade as promised but I don't speak Spanish, so who really knows for sure? But I liked it anyways.

Deep Fried Pork Cutlet, rice, fries, pickled radish, apples and cabbage slaw. Is it me or does this look like a Korean Lunchable? But let's just stick with the main event on this plate... The fried pork were too thin and the crispy panko crust was about all you could taste. Not a great dish for adults but if you put it on the kids menu, it would be a hit. I would skip this recommended dish and stick with the noodle soups et al.

A nice little mom & pop shop... But I will prolly get bored of this place after a few visits unless they get more variety of meats, noods and dumps.

Developing...

2570 Pleasant Hill Rd.
Duluth, GA 30096
678-691-7361